Hello, my name is Flyr, and I would like to think of myself as a sensible, down-to-earth type of person. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for my husband Crnkl. He is a Funeral Director, (he refers to himself as an undertaker and I am forever correcting him as Funeral Director is a much preferable title).
When Crnkl and I first started dating, I was a bit uncomfortable about his profession. He was still training to be a funeral director, learning from and assisting his father in the family business. There is nothing wrong with his profession as funeral directors perform an important and respected role in our society. I mean, they are essential! Just imagine if there were no such thing as a funeral director – what on earth would we do with all the bodies. Still, it was something I didn’t breathlessly share with my girlfriends when we discussed and compared our respective boyfriends.

Crnkl is now the funeral director, his father having retired a few years ago. Just like his mother did, I run the office and Crnkl likes to joke that I am his staff. Crnkl likes to joke and that is the problem. It’s not that think it inappropriate for a funeral director to have a sense of humour, but I feel that the calling requires a certain solemnity when dealing with clients. Well, the living clients at the very least.

I really don’t think it is appropriate, when discussing options with grieving people, to say that “Nothing lasts forever – except embalming”! How ever does Crnkl think that is funny? And I’ve begged him to stop introducing himself as “I’m Crnkl Bck, I put the ‘fun” in ‘funeral’”. And while I understand the sentiment, I don’t think telling people “Life after death does exist – just not for the person who has died” is very comforting.
And now he has decided that he wants to be a stand-up comic as well and call himself the “Grin Reaper” for his act. He showed me a list of his jokes and I was, frankly, quite appalled. Some of them are quite inane, such as “I once thanked a Frenchman to death – it was a merci killing” or “Never challenge Death to a pillow-fight – unless you’re ready to face the reaper cushions” and “What do you call someone who writes Death Metal music? – A Decomposer”. I mean, do you find any of that funny?

Other jokes were very distasteful such as “What comes after death? – A necrophiliac” or “Morticians: tagging people since before Facebook”.

And I told him he would be sleeping in the mortuary if he dared use the joke “I told my wife being cremated was the last hope of her ever having a smoking hot body”.

I’ve told him that I will support his foray into comedy on the condition that he does not bring the well-respected profession of funeral directors into disrepute. While he has promised to steer clear of death comedy (surely an oxymoron) I don’t trust him. I just saw something he has jotted down on his lunch break. It reads “A woman is accused of beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge looks down at her and asks, “First offender?”. The woman replies “Nope, first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender”’.

It could be a short foray into comedy for Mr Crnkl Bck!